oW Eeem Giii! read this, very funny. =]

Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for
it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you
came home & didn't even notice I had anew haircut, had cooked your
favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in
2 minutes, & went
straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You
don't
tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that
connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you
don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have agreatlife!
____________________________________________ ____ ______________________
________________________________ ______________________
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far
cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they
drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing
that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother
raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I
didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the
$49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence
that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all
of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit
the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets
to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens
for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you
always wanted.
My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime
From me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was
born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.